Wednesday, December 2, 2009

But Yankee Fans Are Supposed To Be Giants Fans!

We make no secret about our NFL team of choice around here, but every once in awhile we're forced to acknowledge that there is a second NFL team that calls metro NYC home. Today is one of those days.

Somewhere this morning, Michael Kay's grossly enlarged cranium is on the brink of exploding. As you may recall, several times this season Kay reminded his announcing partner and noted Jets fan John Flaherty that Yankee fans are supposed to be Giants and Mets fans are supposed to be Jets fans.

So why then was Yankees manager Joe Girardi at the Jets' training complex yesterday? Because Jets QB Mark Sanchez has had trouble sliding to avoid getting his clock cleaned. So Rex Ryan emailed Yankee President Randy Levine asking if someone from the Yankees' organization could come teach Sanchez the finer points of sliding. So the Yankees sent Girardi, who worked with Sanchez on his technique.

What the wire stories failed to report was that after Girardi finished his sliding lesson with Sanchez, the Yankee skipper and the Jet coach discussed their philosophies of leading a professional sports team. Fack Youk received an exclusive transcript of the conversation:

Joe Girardi: So Rex, how come Sanchez takes all the snaps for you guys?

Rex Ryan: What do you mean Joe?

JG: I mean, you have three quarterbacks on your roster, why do you only use one of them?

RR: Well Mark's our starter; he's our best QB. If he's healthy, he's taking the snaps.

JG: Yeah, but you have three quarterbacks; you should use them all. Don't you ever play the match-ups?

RR: Match-ups?

JG: Yeah. I mean, sometimes doesn't it make sense to bring in your back-up since he's left handed?

RR: We don't have a left handed QB Joe.

JG: All your QBs are right handed? No wonder you're five and six. You gotta have a left-handed QB to face your left-handed defenses.

RR: It doesn't quite work that way in this sport.

JG: Ok, fine. But doesn't your binder tell you that sometimes Kellen Clemens might be a better match up than Sanchez?

RR: Binder?

JG: Yeah your binder. Your notebook. Whatever you call it. You football coaches always have some sort of sheet on the sideline.

RR: It's a play calling sheet.

JG: Fine. But sometimes one righty is better than another.

RR: Well yeah, Sanchez is better. That's why he's the starter.

JG: No, no. I mean, depending on the match-up sometimes a lesser QB is a better QB.

RR: Huh?

JG: Didn't you watch Game Three of the ALCS?

RR: Nope.

JG: Ok, look. Let's say you've got a third and long. The defense is going to bring in the dime package and probably only rush three guys. Sure, Sanchez has all the arm strength in the world, but what good is it going to do him when he's got six DBs sitting back there? So you bring Clemens in. He has less arm strength but he's more accurate in short yardage. You let all those DBs sit downfield, have Clemens dump a short one off to Thomas Jones, have him shake a linebacker or two and you've got your first down.

RR: I don't think it really works like that Joe.

JG: Sure it does Rex. You don't know what you're missing! You have free substitution by golly! You could put Sanchez right back in. Heck, if I had free substitution, I'd match-up pitchers every at bat or two.

RR: Interesting point Joe. Well listen, thanks for coming down. I really gotta get going. Practice is winding down and I don't want to be late for the post practice spread.

JG: Ok buddy. Think about what I said though, it'll change your life.
Be on the look out for a bullpen on the Jets' sideline this Thursday night.


  1. Cabezota would have shat himself indeed.

    Anyway, thanks for the post. We need stuff like this to keep us going this time of year.

  2. Not included: the part of the transcript where Girardi extolled the virtues of sacrificing a down near the goal line and giving up a few yards to make it easier to pass into the end zone.

  3. Well done Matt, well done.

  4. So are Bills fans supposed to be Blue Jay fans? Also, I'm assuming Kay believes Yankee fans should be Ranger fans and jets fans should be Islander fans. Kay is an idiot.

    2000 was best.
    besides 69 mets and 86 mets come on youre from NY not bos or balt !!!